Inevitability

I found out yesterday that my dad's cancer has gotten worse. He has had cancer for a second time for about a year. But this week it plunged. The doctors told him Monday that his liver failed. They don't think he is gonna make it thru Christmas. They hope he will, but there are no guarantees. It's so wonderful and depressing to see him. A man, once so full of life, sitting there in his recliner, tired and sick. He has lost so much weight, and all I want to do is cry, but I try to stay strong for my family. It is the hardest thing, I think, that I have ever had to go thru. No one close to me has ever died. And he is my father. My Daddy. My Rock. My Strength. I feel like I haven't told him enough that I love him. I feel like I have been such a failure to him. There are so many things I want to say. I'm not ready for this. I don't think anyone is. It just happened so fast.