Copycat

So to those of you TBS watchers of Sex and the City or even you die hard fans from the HBO years, this may sound a little like something Carrie would've written.

I believe that I am addicted to drama. When everything is going right in a relationship, I feel the need to mess things up. Only because I think I am so used to the drama that something going good and right is unfathomable to me. I can't believe that everything could be good when nothing really has gone right in my life. I really love Chris, don't get me wrong. But I think all the games I've played and the heartache that I have caused him is because it gives me something to worry about. Isn't that sick? I think so, which is why I am not trying to have drama any more with Chris. I still have drama with someone else who will remain anonymous, and until I say enough is enough, I will continue to have drama with this person. It's disgusting, but I care about him too. It's like Carrie with Big and Aiden. She cares about Aiden, he's great to her, there's no conflict, things are wonderful, but she can't help being drawn to Big, only because she knows there is something unfinished there. I feel the same. Can I completely commit to Chris, knowing there is something unfinished in my life?