They're coming to take me away ha ha he he ho ho

One of those days.
One of those months.
One of those years.
One of those lifetimes.

I'm never going to fully recover. Recover from what I'll never completely understand.

Why do I go from having all the gusto in the world to being the laziest bum that hangs around for two days in a row without taking a shower?

Why do I have all this anxiety about the future and why am I still trying to fight being alone?

I love him but this yearning to be independent just seeps out of my pores, but all the anxiety about hurt feelings won't go away. I feel like I am lost within myself, the real me trying to scream out behind this body I happen to inhibit.

I am a co-dependent, that's one of the problems, and I hate the thought of being alone, but it's something I feel like I have to do in order to cure these feelings of insecurity and anxiety. I can't depend on someone to do everything for me. I need to depend on me and me alone to get through this myself.

That's me. Crazy as a shithouse rat, or something like that.

So long.
Farewell.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
To you and you and you.